You're gonna carry that weight

A friend of mine (yes, the same one with the "rock and roll" poster and mini fridge in his room) asked me how someone we went to high school with was doing. Someone I had not given any thought to since sometime at the end of June 1989, which was probably the last time I saw J (I'll protect his identity). So I of course responded with "How the hell should I know?" My friend then went into a long rant about what an ass J was IN HIGH SCHOOL, and how he once threatened to kick J's ass in the hall. First of all, no, that probably didn't happen, but whatever! It was HIGH SCHOOL. Seriously. I said, "you've really got to let that go."

It got me thinking about grudges. Everybody has them. Big ones, small ones and ones that you share with other people. And even though you can't see them, they take up a lot of space. In your head. In your heart. They're heavy to carry around, especially if you have to carry it by yourself.

It's easier, sometimes, to let them go. Just be the bigger person, take a deep breath and let go. Accept that some people just suck, and they are careless with your feelings. If you have something to say to them, say it. Get it off your chest. Even if you just write it in a letter you'll never send. Scream if you need to. Or cry (it's better with wine). You'll be surprised how much lighter your head feels without a big fat grudge taking up space that you can use for other things. We all have baggage, but it's nice if it fits under the seat in front of you or in the overhead bin.

Although, if someone was a bitch in high school, and over the years she continued to be a bitch, you're totally allowed to laugh your ass off when she and her second husband show up on Dr. Phil. (It's even OK to burn it on a DVD, isn't it?)