"What do you think about making Rice Krispies Treats for the party."
My response was quick. "I think I've never made them in my life," I said. But I agreed to do it. Two batches (it's a big party!).
I got some funny looks when I told people what I was making, and that I'd never made them before. "Didn't you ever help your mom make them?" someone asked.
No.
As I have stated before, Jan doesn't like to cook. So you can imagine how high baking is on her list. (Although she did make yummy Christmas cookies and the occasional apple pie) But I guess Rice Krispies Treats don't really count as baking. Or cooking for that matter. It's pretty much just melting and stirring.
I am getting ahead of myself. I picked up a box of RK's at Publix, and studied it. Well, not so much studied it as searched for the recipe. No where. Now, you pick up a box of Knorr Vegetable Soup mix, POW, right there on the back of the box is the recipe for Spinach Dip. In fact, when people ask me for the recipe for my spinach dip, I tell them to get a box of Knorr Vegetable Soup mix and turn it over. You pick up a bag of Toll House Morsels. POW. Chocolate chip cookie recipe. That can of crispy onions? POW! Green Bean Casserole recipe right there. I flipped that stupid box of cereal around like Rain Man trying to find a recipe. Don't tell me I am going to have to go home and look this shit up!!! And then, I spot something...
Can you see it? No? Let me get closer....
Oh there it is. A SHOPPING LIST for what you need to make these magical treats. Why is the recipe just not ON the box?? Is it that fucking special? What are these elves (or whatever the fuck they are) trying to hide?!?!?! Well whatever it is, it calls for margarine. Huh??? Really?? After some discussion, I was assured that butter would be a fine substitute. You know I only use butter to cook with! 10 ounces of marshmallows and six cups of Krispies. Super. I grab the big box, as I am making two batches, and two bags of mini marshmallows. I get some other stuff and head home.
I'm still wondering in my head why the hell the recipe isn't on the box. Why wouldn't they put it SON OF A BITCH! I forgot butter. I really am so lucky that Publix is literally across the parking lot, and no thank you I do not need a bag...
Oh what luck. The recipe IS on the box...
See? There it is. ON THE INSIDE. Most helpful. Sigh.
OK. Ready to light this baby!!!! So now I get to see how these things are made. With 10 ounces of marshmallows. Big marshmallows. OR 4 cups of little ones. I, of course, had just grabbed two 10-ounce bags of mini marshmallows. You know what a plus is to putting the actual recipe on the OUTSIDE of the box is??? People can figure out what and how fucking much they are supposed to buy! Although it also says here that diet, reduced calorie or tub margarine is not recommended. And yet on the "shopping list" on the outside of the box, it says "MARGARINE," with no specifications.... Kellogg's really needs to rethink their box layout...OK, I'm done complaining. Maybe...
Three tablespoons of unsalted butter on low heat! ROCK ON!
Four cups of mini marshmallows!!! Stir as they melt... looking... good?
Then it's off the heat, and six cups of RK's into the pot. Stir until a mess.
You could here them snapping and popping. Like the screams of tiny little puffed rice lobsters getting thrown into a pot of molten marshmallow. OK, when it's fully a mess, and they've stopped the popping, you spread it out in a sprayed pan. It's better to spray the spatula, too. Although, as you can imagine, it's a sticky mess. There. That looks right.
Damn, I need a drink after that. I enjoy a delightfully crisp Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc and talk to Trisha about finishing one batch and other party plans.
And on to the second batch. This time, I added a teaspoon of vanilla and some dark chocolate chips. Special dark. So they are Special Treats.
Speaking of special treats, Trisha has whipped up a batch (well, TWO batches) of sangria. In the cooler. I told her, it's like an adult version of the whapatoola punch we used to drink in college. Out of a garbage can. Except this is made with wine and brandy, instead of Everclear, Kool-Aid and whatever was left in all the liquor bottles. BUT, one thing holds true. Don't eat too much of the fruit. That is really a lesson you only need to learn once. Well, maybe twice. Three times tops.
I had been listening to Prince in the car, and thought I would just do a shuffle of his royal awesome purpleness, so here goes!
Pop Life (Seriously!!! How ironic!)
Head (Ok, Prince is a bit risque. Part of why we love him.)
Dirty Mind (OK... I can't make Rice Krispies Treats, with cartoon characters, listening to this.)
CHANGE OF ARTIST
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a playlist of 80's pop gods, DURAN DURAN
(I LOVE YOU SIMON!!!!)
Wild Boys (This video was so cool!)
Serious (May be right. May be wrong. Doesn't have to be serious...)
The Reflex (I tell you somebody's fooling around with my chances on the danger line)
Dirty Great Monster
Skin Trade (Sometimes you wonder, and she laughs at your frustration)
New Moon on Monday (Duran Duran saves the town from the scary soldiers. Five days through the night!!!)
Lady Xanax (Can't be alone when the darkness falls. Got to make it to the party. Socialize. Break the ice.)
The Valley
Is There Something I Should Know? (You're about as easy as a nuclear war.)
Nite-Runner (You're nocturnal, only come out at night)
I Don't Want You Love (My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.)
Notorious (Lies come hard to disguise)
Come Undone (Who do you need, who do you love, when you come undone)
Perfect Day (It's such a perfect day. I'm glad I spent it with you.)
The Chauffeur (and the droning engine throbs in time with your beating heart.)(PS LOVE this song)
Tempted
Last Man Standing (Now an unexpected peace comes to the day, as the howling din of fighting dies away.)
Tricked Out (Instrumental. Play that synthesizer Nick!! I LOVE YOU NICK!!!!)
Make Me Smile (Come up and See Me) (It's just a test, a game for us to play, Win or lose, it's hard to smile. Resist, resist, it's from yourself you have to hide.)
Save a Prayer (And you wanted to dance, so I asked you to dance but fear is in your soul...)(This is one of my favorite Duran Duran songs. It's so beautiful and sad.)
Planet Earth (I only came outside to watch the night fall with the rain.)
Electric Barbarella (A little tip of the hat to where they got their name. Duran Duran is a character in the Jane Fonda cult classic Barbarella. He created a pleasure machine, and tries to kill her with it. She ends up breaking it, the dirty girl)
Red Carpet Massacre (Or, as I like to call it, watching the celebs arrive at awards shows!!!)
Last Day on Earth (Now what would you do if there was no tomorrow?)
Girls on Film (YES!!!! awesome, so totally 80s!!! Give me shudders with a whisper take me high Till I'm shooting a star!)
Oh, and here are my leftovers. I love the loose bag of RK's because I had to destroy the box to get to the recipe.
The good part... I got to cut into those laughing elves mocking faces.
There. NOW I am done.
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