Doing it for the "girls"

As you probably know from the explosion of pink everywhere, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Coincidentally, it also happens to be time for my 6-month mammogram/ultrasound combo that started a year ago, when my new doctor in Florida "made" me go get a baseline mammogram. I was nervous, but figured I'd just get it over with, and that would be the end of it for a few years.

They called me the next day to come back in to double check the left side and do an ultrasound. Naturally, I freaked out. It turned out to be nothing. Well, dense tissue. But they wanted me to come back in six months. So I went back in April for a replay. Again, I got the all clear, but come back in six months.

And that meant today was the day. So I dragged my stuffy sinuses and sore throat over to the Breast Center. Yippie!!!

OK, as a preface, two days ago, the registration office called to pre-fill out my paperwork. Cool. But then when I got the call to remind me of the appointment, I was told to go to admitting. To fill out my paperwork. Um, I did that. Over the phone...
You need to sign it all.
Oh. OK.
Admitting. The ladies there are charming. Yes. I am being sarcastic.

Up at the Breast Center at last, I am given...paperwork to fill out. Sigh. As I am filling it out, the receptionist brings me a printed out sheet of things I just need to double check to make sure they are right. Huh... the printout from when I filled the paperwork out over the phone. And the information that is on it is the exact information I was just filling out...I guess they think we need "busy" work to keep our minds off of what's going to happen.

So after I am given my ever-so-attractive and comfortable robe to wear (it opens in the front), I am waiting. And waiting. Oh, a magazine. House Beautiful. From 2004. I start opening drawers and cabinets. I'm a curious person. Oh, a fake boob attached to a white piece of plastic... Ooops... not attached, as said boob flops under the chair...

My turn! YAY! The tech is... brusk. And I can't really understand what she is saying. Because she mumbles. And has cold hands. I won't go into detail, but it's weird to see your boobs flattened and twisted in such a fashion.

Off to the waiting room. It's cold. So cold they keep offering blankets. Oh good, more magazines. Some early winter 2008 issues of Town and Country, More from March and, oh sweet, a Domino. From 2006. Oh good, I can finish reading that article I was reading in it six months ago. You think I'm kidding. And I'm waiting. And waiting. And it's cold.

Pat the ultrasound tech comes to get me. I think her name was Pat. Maybe it was Joyce. But she looked like Pat the UPS delivery lady from Will & Grace. She smokes. Not while she was doing my ultrasound, but every other time. I could smell it through my Tylenol Sinus med haze. She tells a joke about her brother in town, and finds nothing of note. But sends me back to the waiting room.

Mumbles pokes her head in and says they need another mammogram view. Huh? OK... this one was even less pleasant. Back to the waiting room. Waiting... Mumbles is back. Now they want two "twist" views. It is what is sounds like. And the least "pleasant" of all of them. At one point, she asked me to tilt my chin up. I told her if I tilted it up anymore, my boob would rip off.

She has no idea what they are looking for. She keeps pointing at a white shadow, I would call it, saying it must be what they are looking at. Well, what the fuck do they think it might be lady, because you're all freaking me out!?!?!? (I said in my head.)

Back to the waiting room. I am offered a blanket. Again. Pat's back. The doctor wants to see another ultrasound. There really is no modesty in any of this, if you can't tell that already, but having two people stand over me running an ultrasound wand across my chest, pointing at the screen saying "there... no... there, wait.. no...it's right there, but no... it's nothing, it just blends in...," almost made me lose my shit. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE LOOKING FOR??!?! I wanted to scream!!!

And then, "OK, nothing there. You're good to go."

"Well it wasn't for a lack of looking," I said. So... nothing.. Nope. Nothing. Here's your free tote bag for playing our game!

Anti-climatic, I know. But I'm in the clear for at least another six months.

But, it's important to check yourself every month! See your doctor!! Save the tatas!!!!

Peter Brady would approve

YAY! It's Friday! And I have no food, so it's off to Publix (sigh) to get the fixings for Pork Chops with Apples and Shallots. Which, naturally, is two apples (Granny Smith) and shallots (1/2 pound).



The apples have to be peeled and cored. I tried to peel them in one long strip. This was as long as they got.



Not great, I know. And cutting them into 8ths and coring them too... It took me three different knives. I'm "special" that way. But I still have all my digits, so yay me! Martha says to soak the apple slices in water with the juice of a lemon to keep them from browning. I don't have a lemon. I have limes. But those are for voddy tonics. I just filled the bowl with water, and it was fine. It wasn't like they were going to be sitting out for an hour before I used them. (P.S. Turn on the broiler and move the rack up to the top rung.)

I melted 2 tablespoons of butter in a pan and tossed in the shallots until they are browned, then cover them and cook for five more minutes, until they are soft.



Then you add in the apples (pour the water out first) and 1/2 cup of white wine. Wine? Yes please, don't mind if I do. Cover, and cook for 5 minutes. Pork chop time!!! Just season them on both sides with salt and pepper, and pop them in the oven for 5 minutes on each side. And again, aren't my salt and pepper shakers adorable?!?! Anthropologie. Love that store.



Uncover the apple mix and stir, cook until most of the liquid is evaporated. Yum!!!



Take it off the heat, and cover it. Green veggie time. I melted 2 tablespoons of butter in a sauce pan (More butter! I feel like Paula Deen!), and toss in a bag of spinach. Cover and let wilt.



And I get to use my nutmeg from Grenada to season the spinach.



So here it is, all plated up. just scoop the apples and shallots on top of the pork chop.



Pork chops and an apple sauce. That's swell. (And my kitchen looks like a bomb of dirty dishes went off in it. Not swell. I might have to mop!)

Kind of a mellow playlist for a mellow Friday
The Entertainer Billy Joel
Warwick Avenue Duffy (I heart her voice)
Starry Eyes The Records
Get Together Madonna
Circle Sarah McLachlan
Don't Know Why Norah Jones ("My heart is drenched in wine." You gotta love a lyric like that.)
Mary Sarah McLachlan
Superman REM
Two of Us Aimee Mann and Michael Penn (Pretty decent cover of The Beatles tune.)
Most of All Jody Watley
Hold On Sarah McLachlan (Seriously? Come on, enough already!)
Material Girl Madonna (Much better!)
A Different Corner George Michael (I love my boy, George.)
Always in Love Graham Colton
An Easier Affair George Michael ("Here comes one for the ladies, for the ones who love me." Like me!!!! I love you George!!!!)
Sleep Alone The Wonder Stuff (I still sit at home, twitching my fingers, playing the songs of my favorite singers.)
Don't Let Him Steal Your Heart Away Phil Collins
Heartlight Neil Diamond (I don't trust people who say they don't like Neil Diamond, because they are fucking liars. EVERYONE likes Neil Diamond!)
Voices of Babylon The Outfield
The Wrong Man was Convicted Barenaked Ladies (Who's lonely now, which one of us is suffering.)
Love on the Rocks Neil Diamond (SING IT, NEIL!!!!!! Just pour me a drink and I'll tell you my lies!)
Let's Talk About Sex Salt N Pepa (Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be!)
Golden Slumbers Ben Folds (An "eh" cover of The Beatles tune)
Stay Wendy & Lisa (A long time ago, I saw your face. I fell in love, a fatal mistake.)
Sacrifice Elton John
Some Kind of Lover Jody Watley
I Don't Want Your Love Duran Duran (Well I want yours Simon!!! Yours too, John.)
White Flag Dido (sigh)
Don't You Want Me Jody Watley
Awful Hole

Here Comes the Sun. Crap.

Everyone says I'm nuts, but the endless sunshine and hot weather and humidity are having the same effect on me that days of rain have on other people. Seriously. Keenan the creepy weather man was all excited that it's going to be 90 and sunny for the rest of the week, and I almost cried.

And I figured out why. This summer has, pretty much, for a lot of different reasons, sucked. And I just want it to be over. Don't get me wrong, there were awesome times, like when I got to party with my girls in Atlanta. And I do have a job that I love, working for an editor who is beyond fabulous (I'm not saying that to suck up. She totally rocks the kasbah!). But, my friends know what I am talking about here. The calendar says October, but the sun, heat and humidity says the summer still goes on.

(As an aside, I don't count last weekend at my high school reunion as the summer, because that was a total blast, and it was most definitely FALL!!!! It was so great to see all of you, and I hope it doesn't take 10 more years to see you again!)

I need a spark, or something. I can't change the world in a night, but I can make a great dinner. I find cooking relaxing, so I chose a recipe that is one of my favorites, Shrimp Mosca, which I got from Paige. As you can see, it's a well-loved and used recipe, covered in stains and it even has a knife slice through it... not sure how that happened.



It is soooo good. The sauce it makes... oh boy... OK, You start with a cupboard full of spices. Well, OK, just this many (plus olive oil and really dry white wine).



And, of course, shrimp. The recipe calls for 2 pounds of unpeeled shrimp. I'm just one person, so I only get 1 pound. And I like to eat it with a fork, so I peel them. That just means there's more sauce and it's neater to eat them.



So here are the spices in the pan with 1/4 cup of extra virgin olive oil. I use the jarred garlic, because the recipe calls for 6 cloves of garlic, diced. That translates to 3 teaspoons of the jarred kind. I heap those teaspoons, because there is never such a thing as too much garlic when you're making a Mosca (Am I right, Paige??). It's also 1 teaspoon each of red pepper, crushed black pepper, rosemary and oregano. It calls for 1 tablespoon of salt, but I usually just do a sprinkle or two. Plus two whole bay leaves. The store-bought bay leaves are so tiny, I use four.



OK, when this starts heating up, the aroma... oh I can't even describe how awesome it is, with the garlic and the rosemary...sigh...OK, so add in the shrimp and stir them around to coat them with all the yumminess.



When they get cooking good, then you add in more yumminess in the form of 1/4 cup of dry white wine (and the cook gets a bit herself, of course!). And then you cook it all together until the shrimps are done.



And that is it. It's actually really easy, and takes not a lot of time! It's so worth the time it takes to peel all those shrimps! Put some in a bowl with lots of sauce!



A necessity, as you can see here, is a generous chunk of crusty French bread. This is how you get all that delicious sauce into your pie hole. It has to be crusty French bread. I forgot to buy bread once, and used an English muffin. While it served the purpose, it was WRONG!!!!! Crusty. French. Bread. I promise you, the sauce is that good. One bite of it, and every bad thought left my head, and I couldn't help but smile and sigh. I actually had to go back and break off a little more bread, because you don't want any of that spicy goodness to go to waste. Make this. I promise, you will wipe that plate so clean, you could almost put it back in the cupboard.

But don't. That would be gross.

And tonight's dinner was brought to you by "The I totally (accidentally) stole those batteries" playlist
Run for your Life The Beatles (Yes Mark, I listen to a lot of The Beatles.)
She's a Star James (So frightened that he won't lover her, she builds up a wall)
Genie in a Bottle Christina Aguilera
Shameless Billy Joel (This really is a beautiful song)
Caught in my Shadow The Wonder Stuff
Englishman in New York Sting (It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile. Be yourself, no matter what they say.)
Friend of the Devil Counting Crows
New Years Resolution Graham Colton (Here's to the ones you never forget. Here's to the year that we had)
Victim of Love The Eagles (it's such an easy part, and you know how to play it so well.)
Fallen Sarah McLachlan
I Want Your Sex George Michael (There's things that you guess, and things that you know...)
Stuck on You Elvis Presley (Yep. The King. Full of surprises people. Keep up.)
This is the Time Billy Joel (Another sad, beautiful one)
One Week Barenaked Ladies (Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic, like Sting I'm tantric, like Snicker's guaranteed to satisfy.)
Paisley Park Prince & the Revolution (The girl on the seasaw is laughing 4 love is the color this place imparts)
Eyes Without a Face Billy Idol
Human Human League
Head Over Feet Alanis Morissette
Love is the Seventh Wave Sting (In the empire of the senses, you're the queen of all you survey.)